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Joke #20
Q: How do you keep Stanford Cardinals out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.
Joke #19
Q: Why did the Stanford Cardinals grad cover her ears?
A: She was trying to hold in a thought.
Joke #18
Q: How do you neuter a Cardinals fan?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw!
Joke #17
Q: What do Stanford Cardinals Football players always get on their final exams?
A: Drool.
Joke #16
Q: Did you hear about the Stanford Cardinals fan who won a gold medal at the Olympics?
A: He liked it so much that he decided to get it bronzed.

Joke #15
Q: What's the difference between Stanford Cardinals cheerleaders and The Titanic?
A: Only 1,000 went down on The Titanic.
Joke #14
Q: What's the biggest lie told at Stanford?
A: "I was just helping that sheep over the fence."
Joke #13
Q: What is the difference between a litter of puppies and Stanford Cardinals fans?
A: Eventually puppies grow up and stop whining.
Joke #12
Q: What do Cardinals cheerleaders and Cardinals quarterbacks have in common?
A: They're always on their backs.
Joke #11
Q: Why did Stanford disband its water polo team?
A: All the horses drowned.

Joke #10
Q: How did the Stanford Cardinals fan die from drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on him!
Joke #9
Q: Did you hear about the Stanford Cardinals fan who tried to blow up the opponents team bus?
A: He burned his lip on the tailpipe.
Joke #8
Q: If you have a car containing a Stanford Cardinals wide receiver, a Stanford Cardinals linebacker, and a Stanford Cardinals defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Joke #7
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Stanford campus?
A: A visitor.
Joke #6
Q: How do Cardinals brain cells die?
A: Alone.

Joke #5
Q: What is the definition of safe sex down at Stanford?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.
Joke #4
Q: Why dont Cardinals fans use 911 in an emergency?
A: Because they cannot find "eleven" on the phone dial.
Joke #3
Q: How many Stanford Cardinals does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
Joke #2
Q: Why do Stanford Cardinals fans like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
Joke #1
Q: Why can't Stanford Cardinals players go on the internet?
A: They can't put 3 w's together.

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